Depression, Sickness, & Cabin Fever

As you may have noticed, I've been missing in action the past few days. I apologize. I've been trying to post something so you wouldn't think I fell off the face of the earth, but I just couldn't do it. It's been a rough week for me.

I suffer from depression and sometimes it just gets the best of me. It's not always necessarily triggered by something in particular, although sometimes it is. But it's also cause by a chemical imbalance in the brain. Anyway, I've been down and out for the past week I guess you could say. Everything just seems so hard to do. Laundry, dishes, even getting on Facebook.

I finally got around to cleaning the house a little yesterday, and now you can't even tell. It actually looks a tornado may have gone through my house. *sigh* It makes me feel like, why even bother? Really. I think I need some help.

Also, since Friday, I've been dealing with extremely bad pains in my stomach and nausea. Which, makes things even worse. Things always seem to come kick you when you're already down.

I feel bad, like I'm letting everyone down because of this. I didn't go to church on Saturday. I run the slides that display the lyrics to the songs on the screen during praise and worship, but I text my friend Hannah, who is over the volunteering and asked her if someone else could take over because my stomach was hurting to bad to sit there. She found someone (Thanks, Hannah) but I still felt like I was letting people down. Also on Saturday, I had every intention of calling my uncle and wishing him a happy birthday, but I just kept putting it off thinking I would do it a little later in the day when I felt better. The problem is, I didn't ever feel better, so I never called him. The same goes for Sunday, when my cousin's birthday rolled around. She and I are very close, as we've always been. She's more like my sister than my cousin. We're just over 3 months apart. We were always playing together growing up. Then senior year of high school she moved in with us so she could go to school with me. She now lives in Arkansas so I don't get to see her as often as I would like so the phone really is our main source of communication. You'd think I would just suck it up and give her a call and let her know I was thinking about her. But....I didn't. (Jess, if you're reading this, I love you and I'm sorry I didn't call you to wish you a happy birthday).

Another thing that's been bothering me lately is good ol' Cabin Fever. Everytime I log onto Facebook lately, I see a post from a friend about how they're going on vacation for 7, 8, 9, 10 days to Disneyworld, the beach, the mountains, some foreign exotic paradise....etc. All I can think about is how I wish it was me; I can't help but feel a little twinge of jealousy. It seems like it's just rubbed in my face everytime I log on to see what my friends are up to....I don't think we're even going to get a vacation this year. Even just a night out would be nice. I'm sorry, I'm not saying this to sound ungrateful or make you feel bad for me. I guess I'm just trying to vent my frustrations and let you know what's been getting to me lately.

So, I ask you to pray for me. For my depression I'm battling, for my stomach pains, for my cabin fever haha. It sounds silly, but really.... And also some unspoken things. I just need some help right now. Thanks everyone!